Anita, Breonna, Sandra, Megan, Meghan, Jada and now…Carlishia

Chiiiiile, seems like every year, just as soon as the BET Awards comes around and has me believing that the complex relationship between Black men and Black women could be mended with an evening incredible artistry, questionable outfit decisions, billions in gold chains and hand cuffing red cups, the internet educates me of yet another scenario wherein women who look just like me are left by the wayside by men who look like the men I love and adore. Like, seriously, let’s talk. Because for far too long, women like me have had to explain to the men we love that we do not feel supported, protected, or loved by the same men we are not only expected, but are more than willing to support, protect, and love. For years, I’ve sat back and watched, in my own life, and on the larger cultural stage, Black men actively snatched every bit of support from under Black women they deem undeserving of said support.

The most recent event is out of Chicago, wherein 32-year-old Jeremy Brown was having an argument with 35-year-old Carlishia Hood at Maxwell Street Express on the city’s Southwest Side earlier this month. During the exchange, Brown is captured on video saying “If you say one more thing I’m going to knock you out,” and moments later, he begins punches Hood repeatedly. The video ends abuptly with what sounds like a gunshot. We would later learn that the sound was indeed a gunshot and that the shot was fired by Carlishia Hood’s 14-year-old son, who’d entered the store during the exchange, making the very adult decision to protect his mother as bystanders (including grown-ass men) stood by seemingly indifferent to what was happening as they watched and recorded the attack unfold. Brown’s injuries ended up being fatal, and it didn’t take long for the internet to get involved in the conversation, and well, I’m one to talk because not only have I recorded several commentary videos about the situation, but I’m also sitting at my house writing a whole article about it. Yet, here we are. Follow along.

The conversation took a very familiar turn, as Black men began to defend the life of Jeremy Brown, while attempting to place blame on Hood and her son, completely ignoring the fact that Brown was the aggressor and Hood the victim. But see the thing is, this isn’t new. Because in this country (and potentially around…